Why Check Availability First?
Choosing a wedding date is exciting—but what if your best friend, grandma, or sibling can't make it?
Before announcing your date, check with the people who matter most.
Who to Poll
Must-Have List
- •Immediate family (parents, siblings)
- •Grandparents
- •Best friends who'll be in the wedding party
- •Any guests traveling from far away
Consider Also
- •Close aunts/uncles
- •Family with major scheduling constraints
- •Anyone whose absence would be deeply felt
Keep this list small (10-15 people max). You can't accommodate everyone.
How to Poll Availability
Step 1: Identify Your Window
Based on:
- •Desired season
- •Venue availability
- •Budget considerations
- •Personal preferences
Come up with 3-5 potential dates.
Step 2: Create a Private Poll
Use a scheduling tool to create a simple poll:
- •List your date options
- •Share with your VIP list only
- •Ask for honest responses
- •Give 1-2 weeks to respond
Step 3: Analyze Results
Look for:
- •Dates with highest VIP availability
- •Deal-breakers (key people unavailable)
- •Flexibility in responses
Step 4: Make Your Decision
You may not get 100% availability. Prioritize:
- •Parents and grandparents
- •Wedding party members
- •Others from your VIP list
Then commit and move forward.
Communication Tips
Frame It Right
"We're narrowing down wedding dates and want to make sure you can be there. Can you check your calendar for these weekends?"
Be Clear About Commitment
"We haven't finalized anything yet, but your input helps us plan."
Follow Up
If someone doesn't respond, reach out personally. This is important.
Common Situations
Conflicting Schedules
If your two VIP lists have zero overlap, consider:
- •Different times of year
- •Weekend vs. weekday
- •Creative solutions (Friday wedding, two receptions)
Destination Weddings
Give even more advance notice. Poll earlier, share dates earlier.
Holiday Weekends
These can be convenient (long weekends) or problematic (prior commitments). Ask your VIPs.
After You Choose
Once you've locked in the date:
- •Tell your VIPs first (they helped choose!)
- •Send official save-the-dates to broader list
- •Begin venue and vendor bookings
- •Build your wedding timeline
